Firstly, thanks for reading! I have been journaling with pen and paper for a little while now. Dealing with my past and present. Recently I was diagnosed with depression again and I have found pouring my thoughts onto a page has helped me sort through things that would otherwise keep me up until 2am.
I have decided to move online and see if anyone else might be interested in my rambles. So I hope you will join me and read about my life, loves, tears and anguish. I do not promise to be funny or enlightening but I will be honest and truthful.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
So you will probably learn a lot about me over my posts but here is a little to get you started. I am Becky, 33 years old and single. My job as a history teacher and pastoral lead take up a lot of my time but I like to be more than my job.
My hobbies include; reading to the point I am a bibliophile, dog walks with my puppy Toby, cooking/baking, travelling, visiting historical places and importantly co-hosting a podcast (thementalhealthbookclub.com) with my best friend, Sydney. I have also come up with an idea for some historical fiction but lots of research is my spare time before it is even ready to begin.
My childhood consisted of a narcissistic mother who treated me as her scapegoat me. I suffered psychological abuse and was bullied by my siblings and during school. This resulted in my feelings of worthlessness, like I was never enough and I felt I did not deserve good things. I chose men who would hurt me and was walked all over by many people.
I suffered with anorexia in my teens, which still echoes around. I currently have depression and anxiety. I have been seeing my amazing therapist for four years and continue to work on dealing with my past so I can move on into the future stronger than ever before. I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and chronic migraines (I really believe health is partially luck of the draw and I never win a raffle).
So here is me…writing and hoping someone reads it. Maybe my story will help you be compassionate to others, maybe you will relate, maybe you will judge me and think me crazy.
Whatever you think here it goes…this is my life in this mental world we live in.